All's fair in love and war
A new morning. Something happened last night that festers when I open my eyes. An opening of my heart. A silent revolution…
I will no longer beg and plead for something that is denied me – who has the right to deny me anything? Not even my Krishna can tell me to forget Him.
I will take this bull by the horns and lead it where I need it to go, later, rather than sooner. If marriage is a part of this game, I will commit to the meaningless words – they cannot have any meaning and it cannot be a true marriage when I merely utter them but do not believe them. Is it lying when you are coerced to say what is very clearly untrue? I have not kept any secrets. The world is aware that this madwoman belongs to Giridhari. Yet they insist on saying I must consent to belong to another. I will consent with mere words.
After all, what is marriage in this mortal world, save a political alliance that will keep peace in the realm? I will commit to this maneuver. I am not an idiot to see how it will benefit the kingdom and the people thereof.
The Rana is aware that I am in love with my Krishna and yet he wants my hand in marriage. There is no way I can make him comprehend the ridiculousness of his request. I believe him to be a reasonable man, I have reasoned with him.
“Rana, this cannot be. In marriage, there must be fidelity. When I am loyal to my Krishna, how can I be loyal to you?”
“Ah, but Meera, I am loyal to my countrymen, yet I have a family and friends as well.”
“That may be so, but this is different! How can I love you when my one true love is Giridhari?”
“Love me as your child. Or as your friend, if you will have me.”
“I cannot bring myself to depend on you when you will not honor my single desire and goal in life.”
“Depend on my wealth to pass the years before you reach your goal. I will build you a temple where you can pursue your goal, I do not ask you to let go the feet of the one I cannot compare to. I do not try to be your Krishna; I am but a mere Rana, requiring this political alliance for the good of my own true love – my country.”
I have explained these to him, and yet he insists. In the knowledge that he is a reasonable human being who will not resort to extremities, I will do this thing.
I will stoop to conquer. I will play this game, with the handicaps dealt me.
If I cannot convince the world that I am who I am – I am Meera, dasi of Krishna for every birth in this world – If they refuse to be convinced before this worldly marriage and insist on humouring me as though I am a child reluctant to give up a toy, they will pay. They will find out as the years pass that my mind and purpose are set, I must reach point “B.” All the obstacles that fall in my path shall be circumvented, or bull-dozed. This is my battlefield, and my weapons are few. I will see victory, and if I do not, there is no meaning or reason to my existence.
Good morning, world. Ready or not, here I come…
I will no longer beg and plead for something that is denied me – who has the right to deny me anything? Not even my Krishna can tell me to forget Him.
I will take this bull by the horns and lead it where I need it to go, later, rather than sooner. If marriage is a part of this game, I will commit to the meaningless words – they cannot have any meaning and it cannot be a true marriage when I merely utter them but do not believe them. Is it lying when you are coerced to say what is very clearly untrue? I have not kept any secrets. The world is aware that this madwoman belongs to Giridhari. Yet they insist on saying I must consent to belong to another. I will consent with mere words.
After all, what is marriage in this mortal world, save a political alliance that will keep peace in the realm? I will commit to this maneuver. I am not an idiot to see how it will benefit the kingdom and the people thereof.
The Rana is aware that I am in love with my Krishna and yet he wants my hand in marriage. There is no way I can make him comprehend the ridiculousness of his request. I believe him to be a reasonable man, I have reasoned with him.
“Rana, this cannot be. In marriage, there must be fidelity. When I am loyal to my Krishna, how can I be loyal to you?”
“Ah, but Meera, I am loyal to my countrymen, yet I have a family and friends as well.”
“That may be so, but this is different! How can I love you when my one true love is Giridhari?”
“Love me as your child. Or as your friend, if you will have me.”
“I cannot bring myself to depend on you when you will not honor my single desire and goal in life.”
“Depend on my wealth to pass the years before you reach your goal. I will build you a temple where you can pursue your goal, I do not ask you to let go the feet of the one I cannot compare to. I do not try to be your Krishna; I am but a mere Rana, requiring this political alliance for the good of my own true love – my country.”
I have explained these to him, and yet he insists. In the knowledge that he is a reasonable human being who will not resort to extremities, I will do this thing.
I will stoop to conquer. I will play this game, with the handicaps dealt me.
If I cannot convince the world that I am who I am – I am Meera, dasi of Krishna for every birth in this world – If they refuse to be convinced before this worldly marriage and insist on humouring me as though I am a child reluctant to give up a toy, they will pay. They will find out as the years pass that my mind and purpose are set, I must reach point “B.” All the obstacles that fall in my path shall be circumvented, or bull-dozed. This is my battlefield, and my weapons are few. I will see victory, and if I do not, there is no meaning or reason to my existence.
Good morning, world. Ready or not, here I come…
posted by crazybard at 8:05 AM
2 Comments:
this reminds of me an poem or sonnet from school..
jis ke sar pe ho mor mukut,
vo he mera pathi hoi..
by meera
Meera,
Marriage is the ability after all, to hold in your heart, one love greater than all others, the love of your god, and at the same time to widen its limited spaces a little, so a little more, if mundane, love can creep in, find some room and live on within you while you are still alive.
You know that you are your god's dasi, and he is everything to you, but many are the world you walk in, and in some of them, you may be just a dasi to your lord, no more. in others, however, you must be more. a wife. a daughter. a sister. a friend. a judge. a criminal. a liar. a thief. a saint. and in almost all of them, a sinner. simpley because, for a pure heart such as yours, any step away from your lord is sin. but for the world, which is not as exalted as you are, meera, it is not sin, but duty, compulsion, obligation, expectation, sanction, requirement, and sadly sometimes, necessity.
the silent revolutions are yours to be won or lost, little one. keep your triumphant cries and your sighs of defeat to yourself. to the world, you must light up a torch and bear it high. for it is people like you who will lift our fragile world from its own lamentations and give it hope once more.
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